Valentine Slaughter !!

She was only fourteen then. It was her ‘first valentine’ with her ‘first boyfriend.’ She had wanted it to be perfect. She had spent weeks picking out the perfect dress for their perfect date on a perfect day.

Her dress was pink – the colour of love. But she couldn’t leave the house – all decked up for her date. She lived in a joint family and each person in her family was more conservative than the other (it was as if there was a contest for the title, The Most Extreme); so she had surreptitiously hidden the dress, the shoes and the makeup in her school bag, which was easy since her school bag was empty. It was her first valentine; there was no way she’d waste the day in school!

She had to go to school as she couldn’t escape the ever-vigilant eyes of her cousin sisters…but she had a plan.

The massive iron gates of the convent had shut imposingly behind her; but that gate didn’t feature in her escape route…she had a better plan.

Before the morning assembly, she had quietly slipped into the restrooms situated on the playfield. She stripped quickly and put on her ‘date’ dress, before shoving her school uniform inside her school bag.

She was putting on the last bit of her makeup, when she heard a multitude of voices singing in unison…the assembly was drawing to a close. One of the things that a convent school really liked doing was singing. And as she herself was a good singer, the convent sisters had harangued her, to within an inch of her life, to join the choir. In the end, she had cited stage fright. Standing in front of the school and singing every day for the entire school life, was not something she wanted. She sang for fun and only when the mood struck, but the choir sang for the sisters and as soon as the chord struck.

She looked at the reflection in the mirror. She had tried her best to hide those ugly red pustules but they were all over her face. Hormones, she had been told but it did not make the situation any better. She was ugly! It was a miracle that she had found a guy who loved her and had looked beyond her face.

She smiled, as she watched her reflection; true love was rare to find. She reached inside her bag and removed a plastic bag. Inside the bag was a beautifully wrapped present – his favourite cologne (after all, her boyfriend Rohit Randhawa was in high school and was a ‘man’). Only she knew how she had managed to save up enough money to get him the gift. Even though she came from a well-off family, she never got any pocket money. She had tried arguing a couple of times, but all she accomplished doing was instigating an hour-long lecture on how money spoilt children. Her parents argued, why she needed pocket-money when her family bought her everything she asked for. There was no arguing with that.

In the end, she had resorted to saving her lunch money, preferring to eat a little from her classmate’s lunch-boxes. Oh…the things you did in the name of love…but it was all worth it. HE WAS WORTH IT!!!

She took her school bag and hid it in one of the underconstruction stalls. Her friends had been instructed to retrieve it after school and meet her exactly at 2 pm at the corner cafeteria. In school, matters-of-the-heart required careful planning and complete coordination. Now she was ready for her great escape. She had planned to slip out through the in-campus bank, which had two entry/exit points. The fact that she was in plain clothes would not raise any suspicion. Of course, she prayed that the bank teller did not notice the pearls of sweat, glistening on her head. If she had to be successful, it would have to be done in one fluid motion. She entered from one side and exited from the other…and she was free.

She was supposed to meet Rohit at the entrance of Cupid’s Corner, a restaurant which was frequented by couples. She had heard about this restaurant, her friends often went there.  This would be her first time. Finally, she would no longer be the odd-one- out.

She got down from the auto and there he was, leaning on his bike in front of the restaurant. “Oh, he is so cool,” she thought as she sighed, “there is something about a guy on a bike.”

He waited as she paid the fare. She joined him and he took her hand and pulled her inside. They climbed two flights of stairs, until they were in front of a big wooden door. He pushed the door open. It was so dark that she couldn’t see a thing. It took her eyes several seconds to adjust to the darkness. She was still squinting when a young waiter led them to a corner table with a ‘reserved’ plaque.

She sat down at the corner of the upholstered sofa seat and waited for him to sit opposite her on the chair. Instead, he shoved her in and sat beside her. She was a little uncomfortable but she didn’t want to ruin it…after all, it was her first Valentine’s Day!

The whole restaurant was plunged in darkness. “How do people eat?” she wondered. There was a single small light hanging above the table.

“I’ve got you something,” she said, handing him the beautifully-wrapped box. He tore it open and smiled at the cologne, before replying with a simple “Nice.”

“I’ve got you something too, to show just how much I love you.” He pulled out an expensive-looking velvet box. There inside the box, delicately placed, was a beautiful mother-of-pearl bracelet.

“Oh, this is gorgeous,” she said, reaching for the box.

“Allow me.” He took the bracelet from the box and placed it around her wrist. She was admiring the bracelet under the orange hue of the incandescent light bulb. It was magical…her first valentine gift.

He turned her hand over so he could close the metal clasp and lightly touched the inside of her wrist. She quivered at the tingling sensation. She thanked him when he did the clasp and started withdrawing her hand, when his grip tightened…

“Let me go,” she bantered playfully.

He was forced to let her go as a waiter approached their table and switched on the lamp. Rohit unceremoniously opened the menu and ordered the ‘Valentine’s Special’ menu – with an assortment of chicken canapés; the main course was pasta in red sauce; and strawberries, champagne and imported liquor chocolate for dessert.

Rohit withdrew a 500-rupee note from his wallet and handed it to the waiter as a tip. The waiter smiled widely as he nodded his head and walked away.

“There, no one will disturb us now,” remarked Rohit, as he switched off the overhead light.

Maya was panic-stricken, when she felt Rohit place his hand on her thigh. He shoved her further back into the corner. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth came down hard on hers. She felt pain when he bit her lower lip. “What was happening?” she thought as she attempted to push him away; her hands placed on his chest as she tried to increase the distance between their bodies. But he simply grabbed her hands and resumed the onslaught.

It was several minutes before he finally released her, his breathing heavy. Her lips were throbbing! She ran her tongue over her sore lips and could taste a salty residue. She wasn’t sure if it was the taste of her blood or her tears.

Rohit was lighting a cigarette while her eyes roved back and forth the room; she saw several couples across the room…making out. She could almost swear that she saw a girl, topless…with a dark head sprawled over her chest. She could gag!

She felt nauseated…she was going to be sick. She put a hand over her mouth as she started to retch in disgust. She could feel Rohit draw away from her.

She reached for a glass of water, while he sat there…fuming! Her retching stopped in a few minutes but she held onto the glass. She didn’t even dare look at him.

She heard him curse under his breath, “Stupid bitch.”

“I’m sorry,” she croaked, still unable to look at him.

“I got you an expensive bracelet, you bitch. And what do I get? This is how you repay me?” he said unkindly.

But wasn’t it a gift? She felt her eyes watering.

“What did you think? That you’ll con me and I will let you?” he ranted, every word spewing venom.

“But I didn’t ask for a gift,” she managed, in between breaths.

The ensuing laughter reeked of scorn. “When a woman accepts an expensive gift from a man, she knows she has to return in kind,” he carried on ranting.

Tears were now streaming down her face…He didn’t love her; he thought she was a whore!

“But I thought you loved me,” she pleaded.

The repulsion on his face drove a dagger into her heart.

“You think I can love you? Have you even seen yourself?”

She closed her eyes as fresh tears rolled down her face, like the torrential rainfall of summer.

“Do you know why I brought you here, you bitch? This is the only place where I could switch off the lamp. You think I could kiss you if I had to look at you?” He got up and left, while she sat there, hurt, angry, weeping; and now alarmed…how will she pay for the food he had ordered?

She got up quietly, pretending to walk towards the restroom. No one was watching her—the guards were busy enjoying the scenes at the tables.

She turned and bolted out the door. She had learnt an important lesson—“When a man paid ‘for’ you…you paid ‘to’ him.”

It was her first valentine slaughter.

She could hear voices in the distance, which drew her back into the present. She simply looked down at the bags that she was holding in her hand—her expression sombre. She had vowed to never ever let a man pay for anything for her—ever again!!!

Co-founders and married? Conduct yourself right!!!!

Let's talk about drawing a lakshman rekha as part of the wedding vows when marital partners also happen to be co-founders of their organization. How do you make sure that clear lines are drawn between office and home?

Some couples have found it very easy to leave home behind but others have not been able to do so. Here are some cardinal rules that I have put in separate buckets:

Personality type: To my mind, this is the starting point. It is very important that couples do personality mapping and then decide whether they can partner with each other.  

If both are of the type who say ‘my way or the highway,’ or both are of the laid-back, lotus-eating type, it is best to steer clear of the 
business even if they are ideally suited in terms of skill sets. It is important that they have a yin-yang personality match to nurture the business.

Responsibility matrix: When spouses are co-founders, it is very important that the roles and responsibilities clearly outlined, and as far as possible, there is no overlap in there.

This should also be communicated to the hired teams in such a fashion that neither one breaches them. Not the co-founders and certainly not the team members.

Equity structure: As far as possible avoid having equal stake holding in the company. The rules that apply to unrelated co-founders should apply here as well.

Stake holding should be decided on the basis of what he or she brings to the table in terms of experience, competence, skill set and capital. Also, it helps if there are one or two other co-founders who are neutral so that if there is ever an impasse, it can be resolved by that neutral. And whatever happens, avoid sweat equity.

Good financial practice: In most organizations, there are two signatories to cheques and statutory documents. Spouses should never be cosignatories. This could become a showstopper at the time of raising capital.

Remuneration: Salaries of spousal co-founders should be market-driven and not based on the consideration that husband and wife should draw the same salary.  It should be a function of responsibility, experience and skill set.

Professional courtesies: During office discussions, even if spousal co-founders hold different views, their expression has to be within the professionally defined framework of respect, courtesy and decorum and not in terms of spousal familiarity.

Reporting: Depending on their roles, it may happen that one spouse reports in to the other. This has to be treated with as much sanctity as one would have reporting to someone else. If this is not treated seriously, not only will it impact their relationship but the teams will start taking advantage of it and the whole organization culture may become endangered.

Shared vision: In spousal co-founders, it is important to remember the vision for the business that brought them together.  In the rigor of managing family and managing the business, somehow certain unpalatable adjectives creep in.

Words like patronizing, condescension, even contempt could sound a death knell.

It is important to take each other seriously and respect what both bring to the table, evaluate performance objectively, support and nurture for the enrichment of the organization. As in marriage, so in business too, it is important to give primacy for values like respect, trust, pride, confidence and passion.

The best example of a well-balanced relationship was brought home to me when I recently attended the board meeting of one of my mentees.

The company has four co-founders, including a couple. And one of the team members said to me that unless someone told you, you would never know that these guys are a couple!

The One Thing Your Startup Really Needs to Succeed

Your startup is not special. You are not going to get the big bucks from investors. You did not go to Stanford and are not located in Silicon Valley. You have no track record of running a business, and your business plan is based on made-up numbers and hoped-for assumptions.

All you have is a good idea -- and you know that history is littered with failed startups that were born of good ideas.

You suddenly realize that no more paychecks are coming in. Your friends who cheered you on when you launched your startup have disappeared into their own problems. No one is knocking on your door or offering help. You start to realize that people promise things and then don't deliver. You don't feel like you're accomplishing anything.

You look around and find that there are many others like you -- people dreaming of business success. And you know that most will fail. Will you?

Don't panic. Your startup can still succeed. But it will depend on one thing and one thing only. Can you guess what?

Customers.

Really? Doesn't this sound obvious? It is obvious. And yet, I meet so many "entrepreneurs" that get so wrapped up in being an "entrepreneur" and monkeying around with their spreadsheets and pontificating about their grand plans that they forget that in the end they're supposed to be running a business. And a business simply needs customers.

Your startup will likely need one or two years to be profitable. During that time you must bring in work. That means that while you're building your product you're also hiring yourself out as an engineer at an hourly rate. Or while you're developing that new killer application you're doing some other programming work on the side. Or while you get that shop set up you're selling your products on eBay or Craigslist. You will lose money, but you will learn and build some history.

Potential investors and lenders don't want stories, they want results. They're interested in an existing, viable business that needs their help to grow. They want to see real financial statements showing revenues from live customers that you're turning into a future model rather than fictional plans and ideas based on assumptions.

I'm sure your idea is good. And I'm sure your plans are fine. Just don't spend too much time obsessing over them. Build a business -- go out and get some customers with what you have.

How Hiring and Firing Employees is Just Like Poker

Business, like poker, is a gamble. Some people will lose, some will win and some will simply break even. Employees are one of the most critical variables in your success at the table -- they will make or break you. You can up your odds of success by taking the following steps:

Don't be afraid to go "all in." A good employee is almost always worth a big bet; they are like the pocket aces of the poker world. If you are fortunate enough to find one, do what you need to do to get them on board and keep them engaged.

Granted, reading people isn't quite as easy as reading cards. "Aces" don't always announce themselves. There is a deluge of recommendations on how to identify great employees. You'll have to decide for yourself what is most valuable to you and your organization. Is it cultural fit? Is it aptitude? Experience? There's no single "right" answer. The best thing to keep in mind is, if in doubt, then odds are you don't have pocket aces. Don't rush a hiring decision.

Betting large is a good thing, but only if you've taken the steps to figure out what kind of hand you're holding. This may involve multiple interviews in different settings with different people (e.g. other team members if this isn't your first hire). Background checks are always a good idea. People lie. A few minutes on the phone can save you from a costly mistake. Going "all in" with pocket nines may mean you never make it to see those pocket aces.

Know your bankroll. While there is little formal research available on failure rates of small business, some statistics suggest that as many as 50 to 70 percent of small businesses fail within 18 months of opening, according to Tim Caroll, Deluxe's VP of small business engagement. One of the most common mistakes that leads to failure involves hiring too many employees or too often.

A business with several employees will have a harder time surviving trying times than one with few employees. It really comes down to simple physics: a smaller mass allows you to adapt, change directions and surmount unforeseen obstacles (three things that you often need to do during the business's infancy). You can't win if you don't play the hand, but you also can't win by playing too many hands. Pick and choose which hands to play, keeping in mind the risks associated with being "short stacked" (or the errors that can be made by playing too aggressively with a flush stack).

Fold your hand early. In hold'em, a 3-7 is bad hand. Sure, you can hit a straight, but the odds are against it. If you've already paid the ante and the flop doesn't bring the cards you need, it's time to fold. Too many employers make the mistake of continuing to pursue a lost cause. Perhaps because of our inherent nature, many entrepreneurs think that by sheer force of will or through coaching, they can turn a bad hand into a winner. This may be the case, but like the 3-7, the odds are against it.

If you have given your employee a reasonable shot at success and it isn't working out, the best move is usually to fold. Beyond the initial ante, continuing to play can cost you -- probably much more than you realize.

 There are six factors that contribute to bad employee costs. These include the cost of hiring, their total compensation, the cost of maintaining the employee, the cost of disruptions, severance and money lost on mistakes, missed business or unhappy clientele.

The longer a bad employee is attached to your company, the more money you will lose. Considering direct and indirect costs, by some estimates a bad employee with a yearly salary of $62,000 can cost a company around $600,000 over a two-year period. Beyond the dollar cost, most entrepreneurs can't afford the opportunity cost associated with such a loss. Fold early and give yourself a chance to keep playing.

Have patience. Mike Caro, an author, casino executive and professional poker player, once said, "Aces are larger than life and greater than mountains." Pocket aces are rare. You have to play enough hands to get them, but when you do, they can make all the difference. The same is true of great employees.

Stop Spending Time With Toxic People !!

One of the most significant things you can control is association -- your choices of who you permit into your world, who you give time to or invest time with, and who you look to for ideas, information and education. The people around you rarely have a neutral effect. They either facilitate your accomplishment, they undermine it, or they sabotage it outright.

The first useful association tactic is the elimination of toxic people and saboteurs......It's not an easy thing to face facts about a friend, family member, long-time employee or long-time vendor when they are, in some way, interfering with or disapproving of your accomplishment. It's important to face these facts and to act on them because the more time you spend with people who are unhelpful, unsupportive, disrespectful, envious, resentful, dysfunctional or outright damaging to you, the less value all your time has.

These people don’t just harm the minutes you and they are in the same place. Few people can so perfectly compartmentalize that they can lock every thought, assertion and act of a toxic person in a little mind box and without leakage into other mind boxes. Paraphrasing a Chinese proverb (I found in a fortune cookie), if you lie down with mongrel dogs, even for a short nap, you wake up with fleas -- and they ride with you wherever you go.

Ideas, beliefs, opinions and habits work just like that. Even if you're associating only occasionally or briefly with someone who is intellectually or emotionally toxic or someone who is feckless and inept, it’s enough time for the fleas to leap from them to you, burrow in and be carried away by you to subtly affect your performance and productivity. If your creativity or constructive thinking or work performance is thus diminished, so is the value of your time.

People who are detrimental for you to associate with are not necessarily of evil intent. They may all be “good people,” but that doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Good chocolate cake is not good for a diabetic. In fact, it’s poison. Associating with somebody who is always pushing it to you, saying “Just have a tiny piece” is just as suicidal as baking it for yourself.

There are lots of ways a person can be toxic and poisonous to you. I’ve had clients describe how recurring disputes with a particular employee were mentally exhausting but couldn’t be helped because otherwise, that person was a great asset. The “otherwise” is a big problem. Many small businesses wind up with a ruthlessly defensive key person who goes into murder mode anytime an attempt is made to add a second person but is “otherwise” terrific.

There's the “we tried that before” guy. If it were up to him, we’d light the place with candles because Edison would have been limited to one try. There’s the “constructive critic,” always making you feel inadequate or undeserving, in the guise of being a cautionary ally worrying over you stubbing a toe.

On the other hand, constructive association with creative, inspiring, encouraging people can do a great deal to bolster your performance, thus making your time more valuable. Each minute of your time is made more or less valuable by the condition of your mind, and it is constantly being conditioned by association.

The entrepreneur is particularly susceptible to gaining or losing power by association because he has so many diverse responsibilities and is often operating under pressure, duress and urgency. Playing this game in a compromised mental state, weakened or wounded by poor ideas and attitudes seeded into the mind by association, is extremely difficult. Playing it strengthened and empowered by rich ideas and attitudes seeded into the mind by association can make the difficult easy.

Simply put, you want to deliberately reduce and restrict the amount of your time left vulnerable to random thought or association, and deliberately, sharply reduce the amount of time given to association with people who won’t make any productive contribution and may do harm. Does that mean you can only spend time with people you are in complete philosophical agreement with? No. In fact, such isolationism can be dangerous. But it does mean you should avoid association with people who believe and promulgate beliefs diametrically opposed to “success orientation.”

You want to deliberately increase the amount of your time directed at chosen thinking and input, and constructive, productive association. You want to associate with strivers and achievers, with winners and champions. This is an uplifting force that translates into peak performance, which makes all your time more valuable.

Can a Girl Rebel ??

I am born. I hear cries of “it’s a girl, it’s a girl! Everyone is happy (I think…). I meet my mother. She looks at me with doleful eyes. Why the mixed emotions? Other people come to me and perform traditional and religious ceremonies. I am loaded with flowers, new clothes, gifts and shagun (money).

I am 3 years old. I wear frocks and play with Barbie. I dress her up, she is pretty. I want to be like her when I grow up. Papa says: I am like a doll.

I am 5 now. I go to school. Convent school. We learn, pray and learn. I want to play outside. But, it’s dark now, says Mamma. I play with Dhruv. He is my best friend. Papa tells me to call him “Bhaiyya”. But he is not my brother. I wonder…

I enter my teens. The school uniform changes. We wear shalwar kameez now. But we did wear skirts before. Why the sudden change. It’s so hot. I wonder…

Today we learned something new at school. Periods. Mamma says: be careful, and don’t talk about it in front of Papa. I also have to wear a bra now. I don’t like it, it hurts me, it’s too tight.

Mamma says I am a big girl now. But they don’t let me go out on my own. I should sit with closed legs and behave properly. I also help in the kitchen now. I can make tea, Maggi and chappatis. Mamma took me to a beauty parlour. I didn’t like it, it was so painful. Why do I need this? Don’t I look okay already?

School trip going to Shimla. I want to go. Papa says no.

I score 85% in 10th boards. Papa is so proud and Mamma is crying with happiness. They tell everyone neighbours, relatives and friends. I get new clothes.

I want to study Political Science. Papa says, take Home Science, it’s best for you.

I go to College. Girl’s College. Again. Boys are bad. Obviously.

I study English Literature. I learn a lot of different things. Mamma doesn’t like some of them. She says it spoils the mind of an innocent, sweet girl like me.

College trip going out again. I plead. This time Mamma supports me. But Papa says, it’s dangerous for young girls to go out alone. I keep quiet.

I graduate with flying colours. Gold medal from the university. Mamma and Papa are very happy. I want to look for a job. I want to write. I want to study further. Abroad. No.

Papa asks what are your future plans? Marriage: Love  or arranged? No option.

Advertisement in matrimonial:

A fair, homely, convent-educated, bright girl looks for a teetotaler boy from decent family with a handsome package.

But I don’t want to, do I? I wonder … Mamma said I will start a new life, I should be obedient and dutiful.

Study further: Yes  or No.

Job: Yes  or No.

Marriage: Yes or No.

I try to rebel. TRY. REBEL.

How Special is the someone's love for you.

Sleeping with Your partner doesn't always means You are crossing Your limits.Sometimes its simply means cuddling with Your partner under one blanket.
Sometimes it means, keeping head on his Shoulders.
Sometimes it means, just sharing a Bed.Or just simply sharing A warm Feeling..!!!!!

You want to know what Real Love is..?
It's waking up in the middle of night, for no reason,Shifting under the blanket and feeling the heat of person next to You. You turn around to see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state.
You kiss their face in most gentle manner, so as not to wake them.
You turn back and there is a Sweet priceless smile on Your Face.
You feel an arm wrapping around Your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this.
You can't make your Relationship strengthen with spending more time in Bed, You can't make Your Girl happy, by making her satisfied. You can't make Yourself proud, By Fucking Your Girl .
You have to keep that promises, which You've given.
You have to say those magical words, and prove it Every day - Every night. Treating Your Girl right is much more important than kissing her hardly - pushing to wall.

Understanding her secret wishes is much more important, Joining her pieces of broken heart is much more important than breaking her virginity. Leaving her with beautiful memories, is much better than Leaving her in bed. Long, Deep, Hard kisses doesn't make a Way for any relationship, But Few roses, Magical Words, and True promises makes a Beautiful Relationship. - Without an doubt. Spending all long nights in Bed won't let you come closer to Your partner, Spending few Beautiful Moments - Holding her hands, Making her smile. Matters a lot.Because when You Love Truly, its called'Making Love', and not SEX. 

True beauty of every Girl lies in the Way she care For You,
What she Feels for You.. The way she is ready to sacrifice her
everything for Your Love. The passion she shows for You.You cant take her for granted, Just because of the Simple reason, - She Loves You.................. It's really easy to find some one who can give You a pleasure on Bed like no other. But it's really difficult finding that some one who truly Loves you Like no other.. !!!!!!

Pass to every guy u know..........n to every girl to make her feel how special she is...........